Wednesday Wobble ~ Both Sides Now...
As a Prairie Canadian girl, I love me some Joni Mitchel! Her lyrics are exquisitely beautiful and deeply human. My favorite song is one of hers. It's called , "Both Sides Now"... lemme tell you, Beloved, this song captures the simple complexity of the deep paradox that comes with being human. In a culture obsessed with control and "either or", "this or that", "reward or punish", we are "re-minded" in the beautiful Gospel of this song: beloved, the creativity of being human exists in "both sides now".... the eternal life of "both and" of being human in a precious body that is both living and dying at the exact same time.... not either or, but both and, for being human is spacious and sacred and eternally creative, inviting us into living the lives that we have.
I open my Wednesday Wobble with this song because I often think of the specific lyric, "somethings lost and somethings gained in living every day"... here’s the thing and Truth; if it’s true one place it is true everywhere, but as a person living with chronic illness, I really feel the depths of this lyric to my core, for when I go out and live my life, I gain the experience and pass over my life energy for it, taking many days to recover..... the lyric were always true, but especially noticed and lived with vestibular disability and the over working brain and body to keep me standing.
The "both sides now" becomes the internal struggle of "I'd love to do _____ but what will it do to me"... the brilliance of this song, is the reminder that this is true for everyone in that life energy is spent and memories and expereince is gained AND is in the practice of allowing both emotions to exist and then pause and ask what truth is in the thought AND what patterns of thinking could become "lost" that I might "gain" a new perspective, because if I can practice stilling my think thoughts, I can practice not staying with the "I wish my reality was different" thought that will pop up and practice realizing how much more appreciation I have for the sacred, simple moments of life; how much more present I can practice being for what I can do, instead of blowing through all the things at lightning speed like I used to and never really noticing life. “Rush, Rush, Rush to the next thing our culture says”, but life continual sings: I’m right here, right now, be alive in what is real, this eternal moment.
When I allow myself to let the comparison and “either or” thoughts of culture to pass by, I can begin to notice the heart wrenching, yet exquisite beauty my disability has offered me; a practice of living every day rooted into noticing and radical mercy and acceptance. What a gift to be able to practice seeing from both sides now, to notice my living every day; to grieve and live at the exact same time….
For something is lost and something is gained in living everyday....
Grace and Peace, Friends!